Ultimate Truths

  • Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
  • To Error is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
  • The road to success…….. is always under construction.
  • Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does milk.
  • In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don’t need it.
  • All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.
  • Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.
  • Everyone has a scheme of getting rich….. which never works.
  • If at first you don’t succeed…. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
  • You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.
  • If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late…… the bus is still late.
  • Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
  • If you have paper, you don’t have a pen……. If you have a pen, you don’t have paper…… if you have both, no one calls.
  • If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.
  • The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all the errors until another person is fired or quits.
  • Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker.

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