Online Tourist Queries

As we are celebrating the tourism year some travel agents started the information services 24/7 from their sites. Here are some questions from foreigners and their replies.

Q:   Does it ever get windy in Nepal? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).

A:      We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

.

Q:    Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA)

A:      Depends how much you’ve been drinking.

.

Q:      I want to walk from Katmandu to Pokhara – can I follow the highway tracks? (Sweden)

A:      Sure, it’s only three hundred KMs, take lots of water.

.

Q:     Which direction is North in Nepal ? (USA)

A:      Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

.

Q:     Can I bring cutlery into Nepal ? (UK)

A:      Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

.

Q:      Can I wear high heels in Nepal ? (UK)

A:      You’re a British politician, right?

.

Q:     Are there supermarkets in Pokhara, and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )

A:      No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

.

Q:    Please send a list of all doctors in Nepal who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )

A:      Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.  All Nepali snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make  good pets.

.

Q:     Do you have perfume in Nepal? ( France )

A:      No, WE don’t stink.

.

Q:      I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.  Can you tell me where I can sell it?  ( USA )

A:      Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

.

Q:      Do you celebrate Christmas? (France)

A:      Only on December 25.

.

Q:     Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

A:      Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first.

.

Q:     I am Buddhist, Can I see Swayambhu Stupa anytime? (Sri Lanka)

A:      As long as you are not blind, you can see it anytime.

.

Q:     Do you have Toilet paper? (USA)

A:      No, we have lots of newspaper published.

* JUST FUN *

Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.